Come and listen to my story about a man named Mark
Spoiled tight end, like to stay out after dark
Then one day he was drinkin' up some brew
And in to his sight came a 17 year old view
(girl that is, Catholic school, pink thong)
First thing you know, old Mark's in a hot tub over there
Friend Gessert said, Mark, move away from here
Said that the bathroom was the place he ought to be
So he went to grab a towel and and he moved to the facility
(Suburban bathroom, that is, wood floor and drunken teen)
Well now it's time to say goodbye to Mark and all his kin
They would like to thank Gerry Boyle for all his courtroom spin
You're all invited back again to this locality
To have a heaping helping of their audacity
(Fraud, that's what Boyle calls the victim now
Nice attitude, Y'all try not to throw up now, hear?)